How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries - Where You End and I Begin—

Everyone should read this or at least anyone who has trouble with any relationship which is most everyone! I had no understanding of this concept before I read this. It explained boundaries very well.

This book is pretty heteronormative (that's why it's 4 stars!), but it has some great exercises in there about how to build boundaries and some pretty good examples of what broken boundaries look like and what healthy boundaries look like. I'm really glad I found this book. Coming from someone who needs to strengthen her boundary setting, I feel inspired and empowered from reading this book. It covers how to set physical and emotional boundaries in mostly intimate relationships (i.e. friendships, romantic relationships, and familial relationships). It's good, I would really recommend it to my friends if they ever are interested in this sort of thing.

This book is pretty heteronormative (that's why it's 4 stars!), but it has some great exercises in there about how to build boundaries and some pretty good examples of what broken boundaries look like and what healthy boundaries look like. I'm really glad I found this book. Coming from someone who needs to strengthen her boundary setting, I feel inspired and empowered from reading this book. It covers how to set physical and emotional boundaries in mostly intimate relationships (i.e. friendships, romantic relationships, and familial relationships). It's good, I would really recommend it to my friends if they ever are interested in this sort of thing.

I found this book to be interesting and very helpful. It conveys the thoughts well- gives examples and exercises which made me connect with the ideas and try to work through some deep seated boundary issues.

There is a lot more to setting boundaries than hearing stories of unhealthy childhoods, but this book seems to primarily tell stories of touching and sexual violations, sometimes for many pages. Rather than hear "about" unhealthy boundaries I'd rather have read how to learn where our boundaries are and how to learn communication skills.

Not what I expected and thankful for kindle refunds. This book has a lot of awful and sad stories related to physicaL and sexual abuse that is trying to tie in the boundary issues. I can understand the effects for the characters involved. As I was reading a little more into the book (hoping it would get better) I found myself more caught in the stories to deteremine the point of the book (for my situation). This isn't at all what I was looking for but perhaps others with similiar childhood stories would find it helpful and can relate it better. This book just wasn't for me.

No real practical advise.

It seems to me that boundaries are somewhat personnel.

Yet the author treats them as if they are absolutes.

Apparently someone asked her if she every had an abortion.

She commented that such a person could never be

her friend. Apparently because the person did not

recognize the universality of the authors boundaries

She also tends to see men in a negative light;

rapist, alcoholics, controlling, domineering.

Women are portrayed as victims.

I googled this book and the advertisement on the top of the page indicated a publishing year that was newer. I'd been told to get the latest edition of this as it contained material not in earlier editions. Yet when I clicked on sellers, the sellers books did NOT contain year published info, so I had to guess and hope for the best. When I got the book, it was the early edition and written from a nauseatingly 1980's therapeutic approach which I read way too much of in the 1980's. Been there, done that, hoped for more solid, 2000 something approach. When I made a complaint, the store and the company indicated in auto-e-mail responses to my complaints that I would be sent something to return the book. Due to nausea, I hadn't even read it....yet the auto-responders did not turn out to be true. No one sent me a return envelope, nor was I given instructions on what to do. I have had respect for Goodwill Industries all my life, but will not longer use them as a source for books on the internet, as all this just wasted my money, and my time. And I wonder here, what was the boundary on this.....who overstepped it....and who is responsible...hmmmmm, I could read the book to find out, but probably won't find it in there because the level of this 1980's style book focuses on much more serious boundary violations and I'm just not there any longer.

As a codependent recovery advocate and coach, I am always looking for books that can help clear up dynamics that surround the issues related to codependency.

I enjoyed this book because it offered various real life scenarios that are easy to relate to. This book is not full of difficult jargon. Instead it is clear and well written and a comfortable read.

Codependent couples, and families are void of personal boundaries and emotional space. Because codependents have been taught to disown Self, and in addition--are conditioned to worry more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves, codependents are sadly void of healthy boundaries.

If you struggle within relationships, and tend to feel overwhelmed by them and as if you somehow get lost within the dynamics, this book can definitely help you get clear about what 'a healthy and normal' relationship might actually look like.

A definite plus and intelligent addition to anyones collection of self help books.

Namaste...

Lisa A. Romano
The Road Back To Me

This book is a great introduction into learning to understand and set healthy limits and boundaries with others. There are many kinds of books on the market that give you a lot of tips and advice, but often they are filled with pages of complicated things that the average person just does not have the patience to read through, let alone follow through.

On page 59 Under the Heading "We Are Not Born To Be Victims", the author makes an important point; Inability to distinguish inappropriate behavior or extreme abuse, self perfection, excessive tolerance for abuse and inability to defend oneself are infallible symptoms of severe childhood abuse.

If you have been finding yourself a repeat victim of abuse then this book may be of interest to you. IN the book you are taught how to build boundaries:

1. Increase your self-awareness
2. Identify childhood violations and the offenders, feel about them, and get care for that damage.
3. Examine the state of your boundaries in your present relationships and clean them up.

This book is simple and to the point. It's an excellent book for those who are practical minded and who are completely new to this topic. The exercises are short and simple, but can be real eye openers. I would recommend this to anyone who is currently *actively* working in therapy or who is seriously considering going to therapy. It is absolutely not a replacement, but instead can complement your existing work.

Excellent for anyone who is trying to get a handle on what interpersonal boundaries are and how they work.
The concept of interpersonal boundaries can be hard to grasp, but Anne Katherine's book makes it easy, even for a layperson. Clear and concise, this book can be read on a single afternoon, but keep you thinking for days.
Including exercises designed to help increase awareness of boundaries, and life stories that illustrate how boundary dysfunction occurs, the book paints a clear picture of boundaries, enmeshment, and triangulation.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a good parent, have a successful marriage, resolve childhood and current issues, or even manage a well functioning workplace with good employee relations.

Fantastic source for learning to focus on yourself and not controling others behaviors or actions. The book teaches the readers when we continue to live our lives only caring about others, we completely lose ourselves and forget who we truly are. Learn how Boundries help us to take the first step in learning to take care of ourselves and not give our entire self to someone else. It's an awakening to our self-defeating behaviors so many of us need to face at some point in our lives.

This book has rocked my world. I'm looking forward to reading another book by this author regarding building & maintaining boundaries.

This book focuses on the root(s) of boundary problems. Only the last chapter or so discusses how to address these issues. But what an eye opener!!

I truly wish I had stumbled onto this book years & years ago. I look forward to delving deeper into these issues at hand.

My counselor recommended this book to me. I always seemed to defer to others, give up too much, give away too much, so much I had a breakdown. Reading this book has strengthened me. Now in relating to others, I at least notice I have boundaries. I at least can observe myself in uncomfortable situations. Now I can choose what response I want. Thank you

This book seems to be more about situational stories of abusive men. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of this problem in our society, however I didn't hear much about emotional boundaries and how to deal with them or respect them. It seems the author is playing out her issues with men in general and specifically abusive men in printed media.

I'm sorry the things happened to her that did, and I don't see how iterating over and over how abusive and horrible men are in general can help me as a man on the subject.

I'm not even sure how helpful this would be to women who are victims of abuse, other than maybe to give them strength to leave the situation which seems to be the most important step in that situation. I'm not a woman, and I've never been physically abused, but it seems like the book would just feed into an already poor impression of men and make it extremely difficult to have any meaningful relationships with them in the future.

This book is simply amazing! It illuminates and teaches in the most gentlest of ways. More importantly, it reminds the reader that their story can be found in the stories of others reaffirming our indelible connection to others. I disagree with a previous review that stated that this book is only for women or for victims of sexual abuse. That statement only serves to generalize and minimize what this book can truly offer. Both men and women can appreciate the wisdom found in this book. Enjoy!

This book has rocked my world. I'm looking forward to reading another book by this author regarding building & maintaining boundaries.

This book focuses on the root(s) of boundary problems. Only the last chapter or so discusses how to address these issues. But what an eye opener!!

I truly wish I had stumbled onto this book years & years ago. I look forward to delving deeper into these issues at hand.

You could write this book yourself - all you have to do is spend a half hour thinking about all the different kinds of boundaries that exist between people. It's just a grocery list. Anne Katherine's only contribution is some anecdotes purportedly drawn from her clinical experience. The book cleverly leaves you with the impression that you've been given some advice, but the advice is missing. Don't be fooled.